I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
