After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
