I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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