I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
