ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
