Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
