I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize
