Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
