8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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