Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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