I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
