Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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