You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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