playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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