She said her name was "party"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This is my gift to your gina
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
