Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
