Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
