I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
