I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
