sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
