I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
