I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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