halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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