The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
