when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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