I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
