Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
