Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He passed out mid-signature
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
