this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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