Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
