I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
its not stalking. its research.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
