Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
