Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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