I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
