Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
