Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
