Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
