Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
