May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
