Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
