U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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