girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
