I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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