How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
