I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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