i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
