it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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