Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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