why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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