people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
