FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
